That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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