So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
