I wish I only lived at night.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
These tits shall not be calmed
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
