Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
