I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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