I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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