just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My pussy is not your playground.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
