Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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