if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
