i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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