Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
