Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
