threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
