had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
