just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize