Old men and throwing up are my life now.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
