Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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