The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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