Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
