Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
