I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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