I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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