you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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