Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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