brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
