U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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