If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
