i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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