Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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