Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
