im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize