I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
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Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize