Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
