He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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