I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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