I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
