Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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