my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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