Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
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Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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