So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
