I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
