omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
