went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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