I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
thus making me awesome and them whores
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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