I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
