You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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