ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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