we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
