I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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