i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
