I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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