why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
