the new term for farting is butt boxing.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
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