I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
