Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
