I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
