Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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