We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
