There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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